More belly info

So, most people have morning sickness while they are pregnant and most women can not keep food down. I tell you that after having 5 weeks of morning sickness, I would never wish this on my worst enemy. It is like having the stomach flu for 5 weeks. I just hate having time away from my kids and feeling sick all the time. The bad part is, I just don't throw up. I will gag or dry heave but I will not throw up. It almost makes it worse. I think that if I threw up that I would at least feel better for a little while. I have already gained weight and I am definately showing. I am sure people who would just love to be pregnant would hate me saying these things, but it is just time to stop, complain and move on. I just can't stand the way that I look or feel. Although, at the same time, I know that there is a plan. Though there are some days that I don't know how I can possibly mother four kids, I know that God has a plan and I just rest in that. God wants this child and I know that I will love this child more than ever, but when you feel so horrible, it is hard to be so excited.
Secretly, I never have felt like I was done being pregnant or having kids. I really thought though that I would probably adopt again rather than have more kids because of difficult pregnancies. Speaking of which, until I went to the doctor this week, I was really scared to be pregnant again because of my past. Although, even though my doctor recommended me not having more kids, she is pretty sure that I will do fine. I am able to still run and I am hoping that will allow me to have a better pregnancy, along with God's protection.
I am unsure as to what the next couple of months entail, but I know that I rest in God and wait for His blessing.