Bad News

The day before my 33rd birthday, I received a call from the adoption agency. My social worker told me that more than likely the quota had been met and we would not get Rebecca until next year. I was still hopeful because they were unsure if it had been met or not and they were still waiting on one more family to get submitted. I was hanging onto a pure miracle.

Before I continue, let me explain the quota. Basically, so many kids can leave the country based on the Korean Gov. Therefore, the quota was saying there was enough kids that had left in 2010 and we all have to wait until 2011.

Anyway, I was heartbroken but still hoping and praying. I was a little mad. I thought that I deserved a miracle. I have had such a hard 18 months in my life, I just didn't understand why I didn't deserve a miracle. After praying, reading my bible and then running four miles on my birthday (great way to start the day), I realized that God knows and sees something that I do not. I am thankful for that. Let God direct me and He knows my destiny. I was also afraid that I was so in love with this little girl, and that I would never get her. All hope would be lost. My agency wouldn't answer this question and I just wanted someone to say it would be okay. After doing some searching, I found out that yes, she would come home, but not soon enough for me.

Where do we go from here.... I wait for Jan. I don't know when in Jan. that our paperwork will be submitted or if at all. It depends on how many families are in the same situation. But if not in Jan., then Feb. I also pray for her daily. At the same time, I need to and so desire to enjoy every day with the two boys I have here in Tucson with me and love them and care for them as much as they need.

Until next time...